The Finish Line

Today is the day!
Today, cancer got kicked to the curb, checked off my list, project completed, mission accomplished and all those other them there cliches.

Let's review the objectives/prayer requests from my first post:

• That God is glorified in this journey.  (many of you have said yes, that one happened) 
• Being cancer free is also very high on my list.  (as of today, YES!)
• Prayers for the boys (and Janet) as we all process this info  (we've all processed well)
• Focus at work (we’re kicking off a big new project this week).  (Project completed)

Woo hoo!!! 

I wish I could have captured the confetti throw at the radiation office on video, but there was no one else there to capture it so you'll have to enjoy the last dot coming off the door instead (Take 4 finally got it).  

I thought I would share what I learned from having Cancer.

1. God is good.  All things work together for the good of those who love Him; according to His purpose.  
2. There is good and bad along the way.  You can look for either one as you go, and you are certain to find what you look for.  
3. Larry is a great caretaker.  He did just what I needed and backed off when I wanted to be independent again, but checked in often to be sure.  
4. I have great family.  All had encouraging words at just the right time, shared fun pictures, stepped in and just did things, and J did a really good job of understanding when I was 'done' for the day.  Plus he convinced me to teach him to play tennis during all of this.   
5. I have great friends.  From the meals, texts, rides, visits, calls, spa day, all were great.  It was fun to visit with each one, especially when we got to be together in real life.  
6. Other people get sick and need prayer support in their life too.   
7. Getting better is a process and it's good to have fun things to do, to look forward to, and to mark off even if the next thing is an un-fun thing. 
   
   
   
    (someone started a countdown to Christmas break today)
8. God's word must be in your heart, your mind, and your soul before the trouble hits.  When you need it most, is not when you can look it up in your Bible or on your phone.  Every time I really needed it I was strapped/trapped on a table or machine and told not to move.  
9. I felt better 99% of the time when I exercised, even when I didn't want to.  
10. I can survive without sugar in my diet.  It took practice to say, "Oh, no thank you," but it wasn't my favorite thing.  I think I ate too many celebratory cookies today, and might need to take a break again for a few days.  

Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord all the earth. 

Karen asked if I had a theme song, and while I liked her suggestions, Sandy gave me this idea way back in April; Mandisa's "Overcomer".  Here's a link to watch it yourself.  

Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day.
Declare his glory among the nations; his marvelous deeds among all people.

I won't post as often going forward, but might have a thing or two to share and will.  :)  Thank you so much for all your encouraging words over these last many months.

Single Digits

This week we crossed over a nice milestone.  We are down to the single digits.  I do say 'we' because you have all been such a great support over these past almost seven months.

Check out the two countdown boards.

No, I'm not flashing a gang sign or anything like that, just showing there are only eight treatments to go.  Check out that hair too!  So far it is soft, regular brown color with a healthy sprinkling of gray throughout.

This week I had a baseline bone density scan so that when I start taking my Tamoxifen to prevent recurrence they will know how my bones are doing.  One of the side effects of the other prevention drugs is osteopenia.

I also met with Patty the PA, which turned out to be a well timed visit, because I came down with quite a cold, sore throat, and developed a fever as Wednesday morning progressed.  The good news is that by Thursday morning I was feeling MUCH better, though my throat is still sore and I have an rough sounding cough.

Patty said she would ask Dr N. about getting the port removed.  That will be an in office procedure and hopefully that can happen before the year is out.    

Yesterday I did not get any lab work done, so I don't know how the WBC's are doing, but my energy level has been just fine (aside from yesterday).

I can tell you've been praying for my clearer brain, I've had several exceptionally good days in the week.  That is very exciting since I'm about to kick off another project.

Thank you again!!! You are doing great and I so appreciate all of the prayers.

Making Progress

Another five zaps down, only 20 to go.  The post it notes are starting to disappear.  Yay!  

Most days I don't feel anything during the treatment, but in the last week I've started to feel a little buzz in the muscle as the machine goes through its routine.  

In the evenings I'm starting to be able to quote Tony Horton, "Feel the burn."  By morning it all feels relatively normal again.  Some point in the next week or so, I expect they will turn up the heat and go into the more intense treatments for 5-7 days.

I've volunteered for a post-chemo study at UT Nursing School and I was able to answer "Often" to about 75% of the qualifying questions that she asked relative to my ability to focus, get things done, etc.  It was actually quite encouraging that so many of the questions were things I was experiencing.  The official study will likely begin in January.  

Larry's surgery went well last week Thursday.  He was up and around town on Friday feeling pretty good.  By Saturday he was ready to go and pick J's new show pigs.  J wanted to be sure I added a picture of the new pigs to the blog.

The black Hampshire pig is named Arthur.  So far the Chester pig remains unnamed, and J is willing to entertain any suggestions you may have.  Feel free to reply to this email with your suggestion. 

Prayer Requests: 

• Thanksgiving for L's successful surgery
• Continued healing for L's thumb
• Focus in getting things done

Ten Down

Radiation treatments started two weeks ago and so far I've had ten zaps.  

In the first few days there was some confusion about how many zaps I would get exactly.  Initially the plan was for thirty, then on day 1 the tech said it would be forty.  On Wednesdays I meet with Dr. N2 and he confirmed that there will be 36.  He didn't mind taking a moment to look at my countdown board.  At that point he confirmed the 36 and had an appreciation for all of my grilling questions.  

Here's a little visual for you

Beginning: 

and as of Friday: 

If you are curious, this is what the machine looks like that administers the daily zaps.  

The table raises and slides so that my body is more centered over the big white circle on the floor. The big square panels rotate around the body and the circle on top has its own rotation schedule too.  The blue pad is shaped to my body so that I lay in the same spot each time.  

So far so good.  My energy level is still good despite my WBC's still being down at 3.1 (they checked them again today).  

My hair is starting to come back. 

Here is a picture that Dan took at a work meeting on September 23rd. 

Dan is a great photographer, and I really want another picture when I have a full head of hair again,

and then a selfie I took last week when Terry asked how my hair was coming along.  I think it is even better and longer since I took this on Thursday.    However, I am down to only eight eyelashes on my lower left eyelid.  I'm saving a ton on mascara right now.   

Remember that little motorcycle accident back during the summer when the ER docs said that no one had broken anything?  Well turns out they were not exactly right.  It seems that Larry's right thumb that continues to ache was actually broken in two places.  He's been going to physical therapy the last couple of weeks and the therapist finally referred him to a hand specialist.  

A sonogram/ultraound and fluoroscope showed a tear of the ligament late last week. The MRI today confirmed it and showed that two bones (now healed) had been broken.  All of this information gave the surgeon a plan of action.  The surgery will be this Thursday at 6am.  The doctor thinks that the surgery will take about two hours.  He has three different plans for repair, and it will depend on what he finds when he gets started as to how he will proceed.  He will not be re-breaking the bones to 'fix' them.

There is also a tear on the volar plate on his index finger, but he will not be repairing that.  According to the doctor, "If it is a bad problem, I can make it better, but I cant guarantee any improvement on a minor issue."  The volar plate is considered a minor issue.  

Recovery will require a hard cast for six weeks, but the cast will be changed fairly regularly and each replacement will be smaller than the one before.  

The idea is to get as much of this completed before the end of the year so we potentially avoid paying another deductible in 2015.  

J is not worried at all about the surgery because he gets another mid-week sleepover with his buddy J.   Oh and there is a chance that cadaver ligaments could be used; which for a boy (or man) is a cool thing.   

Prayer Requests: 

• Successful surgery for Larry
• Continued good energy level
• Growth of white blood cells
• That we are good witnesses of the hope and goodness of God as we go about all of our medical appointments

Phase 3 Begins

Monday's visit to the doctor did not yield the results I was hoping for when it came to blood counts.  The WBC's were still at their lowly levels of the prior week; 3.1.  The concern is that with radiation the WBC's will drop further.

I have been feeling quite well, and I'm sure it is the answer to your sweet and precious prayers.  To God be the glory!

However, after talking with the PA she found Dr. N and had a chat with him.  They decided that I was ok to go ahead and start radiation.

This afternoon I started the radiation.  I had already been in and met with Dr.N2,  had a template made for my body to lay in every day, along with two very tiny tattoos.  I was sure thankful Tom warned me that I would be getting those.  The technicians were able to use a well placed mole for the third spot they needed.

The plan is that I will have 40 treatments.  That is different than what I was originally told.   For those of us who have had the conversations about 5, 6 and 30 this is not another iteration of that fiasco;promise.

As I was leaving today the technician asked how many treatments I thought I was signing up for? Thirty.  Oh, well Dr. N2 has ordered 40, but he usually lets us break the good news to the patients. Swell, but with one down by the time she asked, I guess I'm in this far I'll just keep going.

The forty treatments will be dished out every work day, Monday through Friday with 28 of them being what I translated as broad spectrum radiation and twelve will be more focused and intense.  About once a week I will see the doctor and one other time I will see his nurse just to check in and see how things are going.

All of the appointments are at the same time every day; 3:15 and only take about 15 minutes.  Today took longer since it was the first visit and they did extra x-rays.  I should be good to go back and forth to work since the office is about 10 minutes away.

For those of you who I have talked to about my wardrobe issues, I have a two week stay before implementation has to begin.  Whew!

For a little FUN along the way I thought I would do a countdown of treatments.  Since I'm at work more often than at home, I gathered a variety of post-it notes from my co-workers and made this little count down board.

I'll add another 10 post-its to capture all 40 of the treatments, update my spreadsheet with the days (yes, that IS necessary), and make a countdown visual at home too.  I'll have to figure out the plan around Thanksgiving of when they are open and closed.  I was sure hoping to be done before that, but oh well.

If you want to make a post-it note countdown too, jump right in!  I completely understand if you don't want the random chaotic looking thing I created (random is quite difficult for my orderly mind).  It is already a bit distracting in my cube and is no doubt one reason I'm thankful to be getting started and removing some of these.

Of course the real reason to be thankful about getting started is so that I can be DONE and declared cancer free!

Prayer Requests:

• White blood cell production gets ramped up
• The skin doesn't burn or blister during treatment
• Sleep is less restless

Week Full of Adventure

This week I had a series of fun, but adventuresome things.

Monday I went in for my weekly check up with Dr. N.  The rash was getting better, but not completely gone.  When he asked if I wanted to get on a steroid pack and get rid of the rash, I jumped at the chance.  He did make the referral to the radiologist, but said that we would wait another two weeks to be sure the rash is really gone before we start radiation.

Tuesday morning the first real adventure began when I was flying from Austin to Dallas (headed to Kansas City).  It was an early flight and all of us were sleeping.  When we landed the flight attendant was quick to point out that we had landed back in Austin.  We all confirmed that by looking out the windows.

She let us know that there was a problem on the flight, including a smell in the back of the aircraft, and as a precautionary measure they had turned around half-way to Dallas and come back.  Next we heard from the captain that the fire trucks would be looking the plane over and using thermal cameras.  When they found a 'hot spot' on the left wing, the decision was made for us to evacuate the plane, via the emergency slides.  It was a quick trip down the slide, and a fireman was down there to 'catch' each of us.  We even made the news.

It was not scary, but it was an inconvenience.  After standing on the tarmac for 20 minutes the airport brought some buses out and we were taken back to the terminal.  Another 20 minutes or so and we went upstairs to wait in a line to be let back on 10 at a time to get our stuff that had now been towed back to the terminal.  Oh but the fire department was still doing some investigating so we waited some more.  Everyone was in pretty good spirits as we waited, joking along about it all.

We were told to re-book our flights and since I was at the end of the waiting-to-get-your-stuff line I was suddenly in the front of the line to get over to gate 7 and re-book.  I got one of the few remaining seats on the 10:30 flight and still make it to KC without too much delay.

Another team member had been delayed too (though not for as exciting of a reason) and so I didn't have to ride over to our event alone when I got to KC.  We had a great team building time, and several of us, including me, got to climb to the top of this 50' tower.

The climbing up wasn't too difficult, but getting on to the top platform proved to be a little more of a challenge.  I did eventually figure it out, but only after reminding myself that I'm beating cancer, surely I could finish getting up on a silly platform.

Getting down from the platform required some serious self talk too.  You have a safety rope on, but you must go against everything your momma taught ya and push yourself off the platform so the team below can use the belay and let you down slowly.

The three days in KC were great and the trip home was uneventful, which was just fine.  One trip down the slide in a lifetime is plenty.

Praise God, the rash is gone and I'm on the next to the last day of the steroids (one of those tapering packs) and that there was no serious emergency with the plane and that the pilot was cautious enough to keep us all safe.

Next week Wednesday, I have my radiation consultation so I probably won't be back in touch until that gets underway the following week.  Hopefully there is nothing too exciting to report between now and then.

Quick Update

Just wanted to give you a quick update on how I'm doing.

I checked in with the doctor yesterday and my red blood cells were definitely on the low side, which like last time, explains while I feel tired all the time. There is nothing really to be done for it, except maybe eat more beef, which I'm happy to oblige.

My brain has been clearing up too, though I haven't picked up on a few cues where a good teasing was intended; instead taking them too literally.  I did work in a good comeback in the end, but I'd already shown my hand at that point.  Luckily, it was a good friend and there was plenty of grace.

One of the fun 'benefits' of the chemo was that it would push me into an early menopause, I'm sure that's news the men blog readers are interested in; sorry, but it is one of the facts.  Since the tumor was estrogen receptor positive if I get helped along that path then it further reduces the risk of recurrence and that is absolutely a good thing and why I bothered to mention it.

I will spare you the details, but I think the most common symptom that the world is familiar with are hot flashes.  We'll I have had my share lately, thank you very much, and I've also been unable to sleep well because of it.

Last Tuesday night it finally dawned on me.  It is as if I've been thrown into the fiery furnace with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, or Rack, Shack, and Benny if you are Veggie Tales fan; watch it here.

The good news is that while RS&B were in the fiery furnace they were not in there alone.  The account in Daniel clearly shows a fourth person in the furnace with them, commentators believe to be pre-incarnate Jesus.  The fire had not harmed their bodies, Not a hair on their head was singed, please insert your version of the lack of hair joke here. Their clothes were not scorched, and they did not smell like fire.

In the end King Nebucanezer  praised God too, that God could save the young men in a furnace that was seven times hotter than usual because they would not break the First Commandment, you shall have no other gods besides me.  We should fear, trust and love the Lord above all things.  That last part was J's memory verse this past week, so it's quite fresh on my mind.

The plus side of having no hair is that the sweat on my brow catches the breeze of the fan easily to cool things off.

I'm thankful that I'm not alone through this either, and that we have a well air conditioned house.

4 of 4

Despite all the blog silence, I've been doing well.  I did mean to post an update in between, but just got busy with back to school and didn't get around to another post after Nurse Karen said, "No need to come back in before the next round.  If you are feeling good, just roll with it."  So I did.  

I grew enough corpuscles to go forward today with the LAST chemo treatment.  

Can I get a woo hoo!  Oh yeah!  Done and done!  

YOUR prayers have been so well received and answered by our great God.  I am truly grateful and humbled.  He is so good.  I can't believe that you can feel this loved, supported, fun-filled and generally good while having something as ICKY as cancer.  You are the best prayer support team.  Thank YOU!!!

By the way, I'm two-thirds of the way through the process of being someone who HAS cancer to someone who HAD cancer.  

Next up, tomorrow I am scheduled for my shots and went ahead and signed up for fluids too, since I've needed them every time anyway.  The dr's office is working on a short schedule this week trying to work us all in with the holiday on Monday, why I didn't have my final treatment then, and it might be more challenging to work me in without the appointment.  Today it was a full house in the infusion room.  

Bobbie met me at the dr's office today to keep me company and we had a lovely visit.  There were a couple of times where we thought I was finished, but I miscounted drugs going in the first time and then the second time they had an extra bag of IV fluids to add in. We were out of there and headed to eat by 1:15. We were starving!  Thankfully she packed a snack for us of cheese and square crackers. 

When you are finished with your last treatment, they bring a bell over to your chair (Clayton spotted that when we were in for Round 2) and you get to ring it three good loud rings and the rest of the room applauds for you.  That was fun.  

One of the family members that was there with her patient stopped by as we were checking out and said, "I hope I never see you again, and smiled." I thought that was nice.   

I received a Certificate of Completion.  I now consider myself a chemo grad-u-ate.  The drawn out 'graduate' word was tied to a joke my parents used to tell, and only the punchline remains.   

Plus I got the t-shirt.

Thought I would share some more funny cartoons from Steph.  I may or may not have used some of these at home and at work.

This one may be for a younger crowd, but it is still funny and Larry thought perhaps should be shared with those in Hollywood or with any amount of celebrity status.
 

for the record this is NOT one I've used at home or work.  

Prayer Requests: 

• That God will be glorified
• That the nausea will not be as serious this round
• That blood counts will be in the right zone
• That my bones won't ache too much after the Neulasta shot

Next Steps: 

• Visits each week for the next three weeks with lab checks 
• September 21st appointment will be to discharge me from the oncology section and send me off to be radiated.
• Radiation will start sometime after all the chemo is out of my system; about three weeks
• Radiation will likely be 30 treatments
• Schedule: Monday - Friday 
• Appointments are relatively short ~15-20 min each
• Grow hair 

Quick Update

Just wanted to give a quick update that I am feeling better!  Praise God!  Your/Our prayers are being answered.  Thank you.

I don't think the red blood cells are back, because my arms and legs are still weak and I don't have a ton of energy (there are plenty of dishes that didn't get washed tonight as evidence), but my head feels better and the nausea stage has finally passed.  YAY!

Yesterday, I made a serious point of sitting and resting.  Yes, it was hard for me, why do you ask?  That was also the day that I finally addressed the prayer card quilt that was falling down a few pieces at a time each day.

I took each card and removed the sticky stuff from the back of each card and took the time to pray for each of you that sent me a card.  I'll be saving the cards so Janet can look at them again in 50 years when she has to move me to a nursing home (it's a long standing joke between us).

Next update will be after Thursday's appointment when they will check my blood again.   Keep praying for those corpuscles.

75% Complete

I'm happy to report that I am now 75% complete with chemo.  I know this sounds silly to be excited that I'm 75% of the way done, but the half way point was really difficult.

Halfway points are difficult in general.  The most difficult point of a race are the middle miles.  The middle part of a project where the fun of the 'new' has worn off, but the completion is still a ways away.  That is exactly how I was feeling about the chemo being half finished.

I knew the 'day of' would be ok, and it was (a bit longer than the last time).  But the next few days are what I am not looking forward to just because of past experience.  Knowing what to expect in this case isn't a positive.

Dr. N and I met today before we started the infusion and based on the poor reaction I had last time on day 2 he mixed things up a bit and used a different anti-nausea medicine today.  Plus he made a change for day 2 and beyond anti-nausea meds as well.  Hopefully that makes the difference for a better experience this round.

I'll be going in tomorrow for my shot of Neutrogena, (really Neulasta) to help grow the WBCs.

I feel very blessed.

Work has been incredibly supportive, this week sending two cancer focused cookbooks, one that I whipped up some good soup (my favorite post-chemo meal choice) over the weekend.

I've had so many texts, emails, in real life conversations and phone calls with lots of encouragement.  I also know so many of you are still praying.  I just want to say THANK YOU!

Larry is doing better each day, but still has moments of 'fuzziness', which is to be expected.  Between the two of us we are quite a pair.  I can't remember anything because of the concussion, and Larry can't remember anything because of the chemo :)  (Yeah, I did that on purpose).

Prayer Requests:

• The new meds for nausea are more effective
• Larry continues towards clear head-ed-ness (that might not be a word)
• That I can work a full day on Wednesday; the first day of school for J

I forgot to include the picture of all the currently bald family members a few weeks ago. 

e decided it was easier to not grow hair.  

She knows her mom's solidarity of no sweets is a tough one.  

Steph asked if I was ready for some cancer jokes and Oh Yes, I was!  So I'm sharing my favorites.

Larry wants to know what was the point.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
I know it's not any WBC's.

Healing at the Infirmary

I'm happy to report that things are much better around our house today.

Larry came home on Tuesday evening (thanks to Shane's help) with a feeding tube.  This afternoon he was able to get that tube removed.  He is doing much better with that taken out and is feeling better too.

Chemo + 1 was not a great day for me on Tuesday.  Thankfully, Clayton was here to take me for my shot, some anti-nausea meds and IV fluids because I sure didn't feel like driving anywhere.

Wednesday, Janet and the kids came about mid-day and we all started having fun when the work day was finished.

Thursday was Clayton's 30th birthday (super bonus that we could all be together) so Shane came over too for supper.  Over the course of the day Janet and I made an effort to put sprinkles of some kind on every one of Clayton's meals (because sprinkles are certainly more fun).  Pancakes with sprinkles for breakfast, a sprinkle of parmesan cheese on lunch and sprinkles on the birthday cupcakes.

 

Thanksgivings:

• Larry feeling better and being released back to work
• Me feeling better as the week has progressed
• Clayton, Shane and Janet being here this week

A Little FUN Before Round 2

The last week has been great, thank you so much for all of your continued prayers.  God has continued to be so faithful at answering your requests and petitions on my behalf.  

Ever since those WBC's came back, I've felt normal and non-cancery.  So I've been doing all sorts of different fun things.

Saturday we met our friends and we went bowling.  We are a wild bunch.  Scores on one game topped 300, but only if you added all three of the guys scores together.  The wives and J didn't quite roll that high in two games combined, but we had a blast.

Saturday when I woke up I realized that my hair was starting to go.  J was having fun pulling it out all day.  It's a good thing that I was behaving myself, otherwise my momma could have legitimately come and snatched me up bald headed.

Sunday would be the last day for my old hairstyle to see the light of day. I had a hairbrush full of hair after the blow-dry.

When we came home from church I started the trimming.

First there was the mullet (business in the front):

party in the back:

Then the Pat Benetar: 

The mohawk: 

a side bonus that I hadn't planned on from the 90's, the rat tail

fish Sellers part 2, but without all of the college courses or early morning push ups and running. 

Then as the week has progressed these hairs have continued to fall out until it looked like I had a bad case of mange.  It is coming out and I'm almost completely bald by now. 

Finally, since it was girls' weekend starting tonight, we kicked it off with a fun night of  roller skating. 

Go out there and have fun, we certainly are not holding back. 

Next up: 

• Monday 7/21  Chemo Round 2
• Tuesday 7/22  proactive Neupagen shot to keep those WBCs up this round
• Wednesday 7/23 Janet & Clayton bring c & e for a visit

Prayer Requests: 

• Chemo goes smoothly
• Feeling good and ready to babysit c & e for the weekend

Memory Monday

One of the things that I have been so thankful for these past two months is some unintended prep work that I have done over the last couple of years.  That is bible memory.  I'm by no means super memory girl or anything like that.  I thought it would be FUN if you guys did a little memory too, starting on Monday, of course to pick up on the alliteration; Memory Monday.

All of the boys have had memory work as part of their elementary and middle school years. Each of them needing various levels of help to complete the assigned verse(s) for the week. It's natural that when you hear them repeat the verse 6-10 times you start to pick up on them as well.  J's strategy is to teach the verses to me in the car while we drive to school.  Then after I learn it, he works on teaching it to himself.  Of course we all know that in his teaching is where he learns it.  Admittedly, some are only kept in the memory long enough to complete the week's assignment.

In 2012 my good friend Cindy challenged her blog followers to memorize a verse every two weeks and to make it fun, she did them in an A to Z order.  You can read about it here.  Her friend Darlene even has a business that prints verses on business card size card stock that fit neatly into your purse (if you carry one).

God asks us to hide his word in our hearts.  And while I'm not great at it, I am happy that I've taken the time to do some memory along the way.  Especially the day that I was strapped into the mammo machine for quite some time.  I was happy to be reminding myself that, "Nothing is impossible with God."  Sparing you further details, let's just say reaching for my phone and looking up a good verse on my bible app was not a possibility that day.

How can you incorporate some memory into your daily life?

• Write a verse on your mirror with a dry erase marker
• Make a little card and keep it on your dashboard (I used one of Darlene's cards)
• Change your computer password to be a verse (it meets the new super security standards)
• Sing it in a song

Here are a few of my favorites these days, I'm terrible at remembering their address (where to find them), but I figure that is when The Google can come in: 

• He works ALL things to the good of those who love him.  
• Consider it pure joy my brothers when you face trials of many kinds (ha ha, I first typed kids)
• Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful [for the answer]and thankful 
• Every good and perfect gift is from above
• God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble
• Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength
• Nothing is too hard for God
• Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding
• Victory rests with the Lord
• I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
• Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus

'Life' is going to happen.  Attitude can make all the difference in whether you have a pleasant or miserable time along the way.  The choice is yours.  99% of the time, I'm choosing the positive route, how about you?

A Word on Prayer

Check out how nicely the prayer quilt is coming along:

Today I've asked Clayton to be a guest blogger on the topic of prayer. I think simply, so I was thinking he would walk us through the acrostic PRAY (Praise, Repent, Ask, Yield), but he's way more educated and complex than that. Since he has all that professional training and almost one whole year of experience now, I knew you guys would like to hear/read what he has to say too; of course I might be just a little biased, I'm a proud momma after all. Take it away C:

Andrea, my mother, has made a it a clear goal of hers throughout this cancer process that God be praised from beginning to end.  She has also asked that we continually pray.  The discipline of prayer is holy and faithful way to praise God and care for the whole Christian Church. (Side note: to satisfy my own conscience, I must tell you what follows is a distillation of a paper I wrote in seminary about this topic.  To read a Google doc of that paper click here)  

Prayer is the constant activity of the baptized.  You talk regularly with your immediate family sharing your fears, wishes and desires so that you might be supported and assisted along the way.  In baptism you have been brought, by the working of the Holy Spirit, into the family of God.  St. Paul tells us in Romans 8 that we are children of God, which in turn makes us co-inheritors with Christ.  Jesus spoke regularly with the Father through prayer most notable in the Garden of Gethsemane on Maundy Thursday.  If Jesus then, the perfect Son of God, submitted himself in prayer, how much more should we then submit ourselves in prayer?  

Through regular times of prayer we remind ourselves of a few things: 1.We have a Father in heaven that is greater than any earthly father we may or may not have had.  2.  Our Father in heaven listens to our prayers and indeed wants to hear our prayers. 3. There is great comfort in knowing that the divine creator and savior of the world is continually desiring to hear from you.  

The difficulty then comes in determining the way in which one should pray.  A person could spend a lifetime determining the best way to pray.  Admittedly the Roman Catholic tradition has a plethora of materials for spiritual direction, as the practice of prayer is often referred. Just Google, Ignatius of Loyola or Henri Nouwen to get a taste of what is out there.  And to be fair Protestants have a history of writing about prayer as well.  I will recommend Martin Luther’s “A Simple Way to Pray” written to his barber, and Henri Nouwen’s “Spiritual Direction”.

Here is what I have found, through my own reading and Spiritual Direction with an Ursuline Nun, to be the tenets of prayer.  Praying is foreign to your sinful nature – every bit of your sinful nature wants you to do anything else except pray.  The disciples at the Garden of Gethsemane are an example of this (Jesus said to them, “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak”).  

Praying can be compared to any other skill – you have to start somewhere.  You can’t sew a quilt, shoot a basketball, run a marathon, fly a plane unless you begin at the beginning – sew a stitch, hold the ball, take the first step, take a lesson – you get the idea.  You can’t pray like the pope the first time you try.  Prayer takes guidance.  The disciples even asked for a lesson from Jesus, “Lord teach us to pray.”  

Be consistent in your prayer time. If you have a hard time making things fit in the morning then don’t make your dedicated time be in the morning.  If you are contemplating bed before the six o’clock news is over then don’t make you dedicated time be in the evening.  Whenever it is be consistent.  Start small and increase your time in dedicated prayer – fifteen minutes one week, then twenty the next.  

Now comes what to say.  One of my favorite Luther quotes, I am a Lutheran pastor after all, goes along the lines of “when you pray, grab hold of a promise of God and hold it in his face.”  That is to say, when you pray, the words that you can use are the words already given to us by God himself.  He promised to give you what you need to eat and wear (Matt. 6) remind him of that, thank him for house and home, food and clothes.  He has given his commandments.  Pray for forgiveness for not keeping them and strength to keep them in the time to come.  Christ has promised to come again in glory to judge the living and the dead: Pray that he would come and you would be counted among the living for the sake of the innocent, bitter suffering of our Lord Jesus Christ.  If you are really struggling for words to pray, pray as he taught us, “Our Father who art in heaven…”

There is more to be said for different and creative ways of praying and recording your prayers.  The main task of the baptized believer is to discipline the sinful nature and approach the throne of grace with confidence on account of Jesus Christ who intercedes for us.  For the Christian praying is the heartbeat of faith.   

Paper Prayer Quilt Picture

Today was a great day for getting the mail.  Lots of quilt squares arrived, so I thought I would share how things are shaping up.

More News and Friday FUN: Paper Prayer Quilt

Appointments today went really well, except I was surprised that my face would be SO close to the top of the 'tube' and I was not thrilled to be in the tube for 25 minutes, but I used that time to pray.

Thank you Stephanie for pointing out that DUH, everyone knows that is what a CT scan is like and treating me like a real friend and calling me on that.  I totally deserved it.  :)

The CT/PET scan was all clear, which Dr N's nurse said was a good thing and Laura was thrilled about.  So there is something to praise God for right away!

Ideal	Me	Factor
No	?  (post surgery)	Are there cancer cells in the lymph nodes
Small	Appears Small	What is the size of the tumor
No	?? (PET results)	Has the tumor spread elsewhere  (I think this one is green, based on Laura being happy)
Well defined	Well defined	What is the cell-type (histology) of the cancer
Yes	Yes	Do the cancer cells express “hormone receptors”

MyProject Manager style comes out naturally to show green as good in a nice table style format with each of the key factors.

We learned today from the surgeon, Dr. A, that I seem to be an ideal candidate for the lumpectomy based on all of the factors above.  He's not in a rush, thinking that the timing of the surgery would be in the next 2-3 weeks.

Post surgery, they will send off the lump to ensure that there were clean margins and they will also take a sample of lymph nodes to be tested as well.  That will take 3-4 biz days to make that determination at the lab.  Surgery would likely take place on a Thursday and then I could be back at work by Monday or Tuesday, since I have a desk job.

If lump has clear margins, and nodes are clear then radiation is next step.  That could be 5 treatments 2x/day, but then that's all.  That of course would be wonderful and give a good reason to others to get those timely mammograms.

Lots of other options of course if it is not the best case scenario.

Prayer Requests: 

• That God would be glorified, despite unpleasant physical circumstances
• Me, being cancer free
• Monday's appointment would provide clear direction on timing the next steps
• That a lumpectomy and radiation would be all that is needed

Next Steps: 

• 5/5     Dr. N appt 
• 2-3 weeks  Surgery to remove the lump

Now for the FUN stuff: 
A number of years ago I read this idea about artist trading cards in Family Fun magazine.  We made a few ourselves, ok, mostly Jake's friend and I made a bunch.  Here is the inspirational article if you want to read more about it and few of the ones we made that I could find.

Ten years ago, or more, Betsy, Sandy and I took up quilting and started a Quilting group at our church that is still going strong.  They make tied quilts for people and have people in the congregation pray over the quilt and tie a knot somewhere on the threads which are extra-long, then when you have the quilt over the sick person (eek that’s me these days) they are covered in prayers. 

God inspired this idea that we could combine the two ideas like this.  You, dear reader, could take a 3x5 index card and on the blank side should create your own art card, say a prayer for me being cancer free (or anything from my prayer request list) and send it to me.  I’ll hang them up on my pantry door(s) in the order that they are received that way I don’t have to think too hard about what sort of pattern to make them into and they will be a wonderful visible reminder that I’m covered in prayer. 

If you have multiple people in your house that want to participate of course that’s ok.  If you want to combine your card with someone else’s and create a two or more card design, that’s ok too (just let me know how they go together). If you want to make more than one, that's ok too.  

For you free spirits out there, go get busy, have a blast.    

Here are guidelines for those of you who need more rules:

• Cards will be displayed portrait style; 3" across the top

• Super selfish request please no red.  I'm just weird that way.  
• Please sign the back of your card since it is a quilting 'rule' to sign your work
• Any medium will work: pencil, crayon, paint, marker, fabric, glitter, photographs, tissue paper
• It does not have to have words, or it can
• Use your imagination
• Don't over think it; go with your gut
• Get it out the door by Monday morning

If you don’t have my real address and want to send a card, please respond to this post and tell me who you are and why I should give you my address  cuz I don’t want any creepers to be creeping.  I still have to be careful for stranger danger and all that. 

Sugar Free Sunday

I have no additional news, but I wanted to share the first "FUN" idea I had for those near and far.  It may not be fun to anyone else, but I'll share it anyway because when I couldn't sleep Wednesday night, this was actually one of the things that came to mind while I was not sleeping and contemplating what in the world I would blog about (after I decided that too).

I've read and also heard and extended report on a radio talk show about how bad sugar is for our bodies, yeah yeah, everyone's heard that, but everything in moderation, right?  So sometimes we (I) am a little less moderate than others.  But this information was different.  

The radio show that sticks in my head the most is a nutrition guy who was not hawking some snake oil to make you skinny, make your hair shiny, increase your love life, or solve all the problems in your life.  He took the perspective that if he ever found himself in the position of having cancer, that he would do this handful of things.  

Top of his list was to stop eating all sugar, because cancer cells thrive and grow faster on sugar.  He also included fruits in this list too, because fructose is also one that feeds the cancer too.